Watch Out!!!
It came up so fast in the darkness, I didn’t have a chance to even open my mouth until a laptop jumped up from the shelf above my seat, bounced off my head and the sharp edge landed across my bare thighs. Only then, did I scream with the pain and shock of surprise: “Watch out!” (“You asshole!” luckily never made it out of my mouth). The edge of a laptop instantly left a painful red indentation across my legs and my head was spinning. Maybe from the rage, maybe from the pain. I don’t know.
Tope or Speed bump, seldom placed ahead with the warning
We were in a hurry to get the days’ drive over with, but flying full speed into a town in Mexico in the dark, is never a good idea. A speed bump or tope as they are called in Spanish was by far the biggest one we hit that day. It would be a good thing to remember-topes are at the entrance of every town, big or small. This one woke us up violently and brought us back to reality. The warning yellow paint faded away a long time ago. Tope warning sign, paint equally faded, was planted in the dirt right next to it, mostly hidden by the bush. Even in daylight, it would have been impossible to see. Slamming the brakes, Jim slowed down as much as he could. It was much too late! The van leaped into the air, and with it, everything inside. The trailer followed close behind as trailers have a tendency to do. For a brief moment, we thought we heard ground control giving us directions to the terminal. We were all levitating, including our Golden retriever Monty. “God damn it!” Jim muttered in a surprisingly low voice. “I told you to slow down!” would have been pointless for me to say. I said it anyway! An instant thought hit me:
“Thank God I wasn’t the one driving!”
Jim pulled over to go inspect the damage to the trailer and the van. I inspected the interior. It was surprisingly unaffected. The bathroom door still closed; the drawers on the kitchen cabinet nice and tight; most of the spices still on the shelf above the stove. Nothing was broken inside. A minor miracle, really. Only a few knives stuck in the ceiling! A few things flew off the large shelve located above the driver’s and passenger’s seats. We call it “The black hole”. Many things are lost up there. The speed bump revealed quite a few we haven’t seen in a while. A water bottle, binoculars, gloves, long-forgotten remote control for a fan, an umbrella...A fluffy down jacket landed on Monty, but luckily nothing heavy or sharp. A bag of dog cookies laid scattered around him. He didn’t mind that at all!
“Well, the back window is shattered. The bikes’ handlebar went through it!“ Announced Jim, when he came back in, sat down behind the wheel and buckled up the seatbelt, calmly as if nothing ever happened. First I thought he was kidding until I realized he wasn’t. Jim is the calmest in most critical moments. I love that about him. We both sat in silence, Jim driving very, very slowly through the town of Viscaino. I almost wanted to say to him: “Okay, you can drive a tad bit faster!” I kept my mouth shut.
“You should have slowed down when you saw the lights of the town,” I said quietly to myself, but I am afraid Jim heard me. It was too late for everything. I couldn’t take the words back, he couldn’t go back in time to make the van slow down before hitting the speed bump.
Jim is most bummed about his cool stickers
When we stopped a few blocks later at the motel with a campground, I walked to the back of the van. I saw a gaping hole and shattered glass everywhere. I thought to myself:
“We could tell people we were caught in a crossfire by drug gangs! It would make it for a much more exciting story!”
I made us margaritas with double shots of tequila.
Here is your Margarita, Honey!
