My name is Alenka. I am a native of Slovenia, living in Lake Tahoe California and La Ventana Bay in Mexico with one husband, four grown children, three growing grandchildren, and one magnificent golden retriever Monty.
I write here, there and everywhere in— between about anything that inspires me, makes me mad or sad or preferably, about what makes my heart sing with joy.
So, let’s look at our life and enjoy every moment that is given to us. Let’s just be grateful that we are still here, present in a physical body whatever shape and form, wrinkles, sagging body parts and all. We won’t be here for long. BTW, I discovered a cure for wrinkles and and all other body imperfections. I’ll tell you my secret later (maybe).
When I think back
On all the crap I learned in high school
It's a wonder
I can think at all
"You little bastard! I got up from my comfy chair to finally get the damn camera, and you are a no show!"
On this day, exactly a year ago, I just finished my last radiation treatment which was following grueling chemo treatments. My body and my soul were defeated, broken down to its core. I was bald, skin burned, bloated and swollen. Weak like never before.
Monty just saw the bunny dart through the bushes and now he is chasing it. When I whistle for him he comes running back and jumps up on my bed all excited” I saw the bunny! I saw the bunny! “ Yup, my dog talks!
Biopsy from the last removal of multiple polyps came back negative. I am clear and free and get to keep my colon!
...I mean no hair anywhere! No pubic hair, smooth hairless legs, no armpit hair and bald like a cucumber. I was born with more hair! You save a lot of time in the shower and a lot of money on razor blades.
Of course, I was tired and traveling on a plane with all the germs when your immune system is greatly compromised, was of a concern. I traveled armed with surgical masks, scarves and essential oils to guard me against possible infections.
In pain there is growth and every human being is capable of enduring copious amounts of pain. Often we are amazed at how much we actually are capable to endure.
Waiting for biopsy results was excruciating. Wanting to protect my loved ones from bad news, was impossible yet inevitable
....I couldn't avoid him. I couldn't lie nor pretend. The look told him everything. "What?!" he asked "Not good" I replied.
I got my diagnosis today. I am not dead yet but I have FUCKING CANCER! And I want to scream to everyone in the world: ”I HAVE FUCKING CANCER! I am SCARED, BEWILDERED, PISSED OFF!
... Dogs and animals in general posses pure intuition that us humans on many levels either lost or are unable to tap into and are afraid to trust. We over think, over analyze and complicate our lives. Animals just feel and react accordingly.
Your friends' way of coping is that they definitely want to help and do things for you. Let them. I don’t know why, but they all want to feed you. Yes, food is comforting to make and to receive, but eating was the last thing on my mind.
“OK, fine, tell me what you think you have!” “ You sure you want to hear it?” he says, building on the suspense. “Oh please, just tell me will you!” I answer exasperated
...You must be scared, I am scared for you. I am scared for both of us. I have been in denial. It's not possible that you, my big, strong, beautiful man can have this. This fucking
